La femme en moi! [paulo césar ebbano moreira]







Aujourd'hui, je me sens féminine. Je ne voulais pas. Je ne voulais pas. Le rodéo en disant que je me sens comme une femme dans les bras des hommes hétérosexuels, me rappelle l'enfance. Quand j'ai été appelé "pédé" par les garçons de mon âge et j'étais amoureux des garçons populaires à l'école. Ou même quand je ne savais pas qui j'étais puisque je me suis reconnu excité en voyant le gros pénis épais du plus grand camarade de classe qui ne savait pas que je le voulais. et poilu. La honte de cacher mon désir d'être une femme. Le renoncement à croire que j'étais juste un autre "gay". Et maintenant? suis-je gay et confortable ou est-ce que j'accepte le sort d'aimer un homme hétérosexuel? La terreur de vivre seul et la panique de mourir seul. L'envie d'être touchée et pénétrée entre mes fesses, le membre dressé et mon anus gourmand en sirotant de désir comme un vagin qui palpite de jouissance multiple. Mon pénis? Respect d'un pénis dodu et épais au large gland.
Le destin de mon être mène à une barbe bien rasée et à des cheveux bien coupés pendant les jours de quarantaine COVID19 et à marcher sur la place, peur d'un virus qui tue le corps et le rêve de beaucoup de gens. Et les croquis qui prennent ma main et la fixent avec un stylo noir et glissent dessus comme si j'avais du talent!
Aujourd'hui, j'ai senti mon phallus en pensant au cul chaud de mon béguin.
Le désir d'avoir un contact, quand même pas de câlins sont possibles et la recherche d'un partenaire me rappelle d'être à nouveau expulsé de la normale et de s'arrêter entre le bien et le mal. Je suis une femme? Je suis un homme? Je suis normal?

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